Healing from Insecure Attachments: A Journey to Emotional Well-Being

From a baby's first cry, met by a mother’s comforting touch, the fundamental human need for connection is revealed. These early interactions set the foundation for emotional bonds that influence our relationships throughout life. Cynthia Ghosn, a DHA-Licensed Psychology Technician and Early Career Professional at Thrive Wellbeing Centre, delves into the nature of insecure attachments, exploring their roots and how they shape our adult connections.

According to Cynthia, the attachments formed in childhood significantly influence how we connect with others as adults. When caregivers consistently meet emotional needs, secure attachments are likely to develop. However, when these needs are unmet or met inconsistently, insecure attachment patterns emerge. These can manifest in three distinct styles:

• Anxious Attachment: Often a result of inconsistent caregiving, anxious attachment leads to a fear of abandonment and a need for constant reassurance. Adults with this attachment style may grapple with low self-esteem, find it hard to communicate their needs, and often become overly dependent on their partners for validation. This dynamic can challenge the maintenance of healthy boundaries and emotional regulation in relationships.

• Avoidant Attachment: Stemming from emotionally distant caregiving, avoidant attachment results in a reluctance to form close emotional bonds. Those with this style tend to suppress emotions, avoid conflict, and prize independence as a form of self-protection. As a result, forming deep, meaningful connections can be difficult, as emotional vulnerability is perceived as a threat.

• Disorganised Attachment: Originating from environments where caregivers are sources of both comfort and fear, disorganised attachment leads to confusion in relationships. Adults with this style may alternate between seeking closeness and withdrawing out of fear, resulting in unpredictable behavior. Trust and security often feel elusive, complicating both personal and professional connections.